What do these SEC football coaches look like they do for a living?

Look, there’s not much to talk about this time of year when it comes to things happening on the gridiron. School’s probably let out across the country and fall camp doesn’t start for another 70-ish days.

Its time to have a little fun and think about what these SEC head football coaches look like they’d do if they weren’t coaching.

Sam Pittman: Owner of a BBQ joint on Lake Hamilton

The Arkansas head coach already has a retirement plan set with a beautiful house on Lake Hamilton. So, why not get into the BBQ business? Hot Springs is chop full of delicious grub and a Pittman establishment with bring Hog fans in droves. Plus, Coach looks like a guy that can smoke some dang good ribs.

Hugh Freeze: controversial pastor

Look, this isn’t some shade thrown at the new Auburn head coach at all. Even though he talks a good game and promotes the Good Lord.

He’s a heck of a talker and puts butts in the seats! Auburn will be happy with the hire if he produces results right away like he did at Ole Miss.

Nick Saban: Car salesman at a Toyota dealer

Honestly, I was going with the upscale Audi or Mercedes-Benz but settled. The Alabama head coach just looks like a guy that would roll around in a jacked up Tundra cruising down Wallace Wade Avenue on a Saturday night.

Billy Napier: Elementary school principal

There’s simply no denying a better fit for good man Billy. From the first glance the Florida head coach has the friendly welcome to third grade look. But, you better not wind up in the office or you’ll just think you’re receiving a stern chewing.

Mark Stoops: Night shift fry cook at Waffle House

The Kentucky head coach isn’t just your regular fry cook in Lexington. He’s there to listen to you at 3 AM over a pot of coffee and a soft scramble. Stoops will encourage you and teach the 10 self helps steps to a better life.

Shane Beamer: Boy Scout director

Just a good ol’ boy that’s never harmed a soul. This fellow probably reached Eagle Scout years before anyone in his troop. He’ll teach you to tie a knot and pat you on the back when you’ve fallen short.

It’s the million dollar smile and plenty of secrets to success that he says he can’t share due to “scout honor.” It’s a dad thing, ok?

Lane Kiffin: Janitor lead at Vaught Hemingway Stadium

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I’m as big of a Lane Kiffin fan as they come. But, he just has that look sometimes of a frat man, a football genius or simply a janitor. This one truly has that feel. Sorry, Kiff.

Eli Drinkwitz: 9th grade Environmental science teacher

Y’all remember the annoying teachers?

Yeah? Well, that’s the Missouri head coach. His nerdy and quirky personality just fits the science teacher role.

Look, you have to be just a bit different to study science for a living.

Jimbo Fisher: Contractor

He may not be able to field top of the line football teams on an annual basis. But, he sure does look like a guy you’d recommend for contracting purposes.

He talks really fast and you honestly don’t know what he says. So, you just go with it in hopes that everything goes well.

Brian Kelly: Head coach of the New England Patriots

One year removed from an SEC Western division championship and the LSU coach is already being compared to Bill Belicheck.

No not really but he sure does kind of look like him.

Josh Heupel: Smokey Mtn. Cigar Company owner

Win the biggest game since 2004 and you’ll be able to smoke a cigar amongst the students at midfield.

Everyone likes Heupel right now. The Tennessee head coach could probably sell anything he wants to Volunteer fans, right now.

Clark Lea: Motivational Speaker

After a solid turnaround in year two the Vanderbilt head coach may stay around longer than anticipated. The Commodores won two SEC games over Kentucky and Florida late in the season.

Things weren’t looking good but he motivated his players to achieve things that no one thought they could a year ago. Does he have any speeches left for a bowl eligible season in 2023?

Kirby Smart: PE teacher

The back-to-back national championship winning coach looks like he’d be a blast in the gym. Smart would have races on the those plastic rolling carts up and down the hardwood every day. Weren’t those a blast?

Zach Arnett: Planet Fitness Instructor/Trainer

Theres no lying going on here. The brand new Mississippi State head coach is jacked and likely the most in shape of this group. Arnett wants you to reach your full potential. Not only will you focus on your upper body but it’s imperative to have leg day three times a week.

Arnett is probably has an in your face type of approach in the weight room pushing you to do more. If the Bulldogs have as much intensity as their head coach they may bite a few folks in year one.